Now what?

Since I got out the army my family has noticed I’m fairly good at maintaining my situational awareness.

When I go places I pay attention for exits, I evaluate the threat capacity of all my fellow patrons, and I sit with my back to the wall so I have best field of vision. Doing so also removes threats from behind.

Most vets probably do similar things. Not because we think the world is crazy and constantly erupting into gunfire. Rather we’re this way, because we know when the wall does pop off, it does so in an instant.

You don’t have time when the burger joint your at is getting robbed to figure out a side exit to slip out with your family.

You don’t have time to practice loading your magazine in the dark when you hear burglars downstairs.

Knowing these things ahead of time could be the difference between life and death.

Now I can’t look over my shoulder. With my broken back my ability to keep my head on a swivel in severely diminished. Sep.>>>>>Nov.

I have worked hard though. It has paid off. I spent a few months in a rehab center, and I’m out of the chair.

For that matter I’ve cast off the cane. Nerve pain is new ,but it’s just another type of pain. A signal to the brain, or in this case a misfired signal. I’ve been in pain more or less since 2002 just increasing in scale.

I have had pain killers here and there over the years, and I will say I could get used to not being in pain. I mean “sneaking into people’s houses to support it” used to it. At that point it’s a fight you’ll probably have the rest of your life. I got too many wars going on.

Starting a battle on another front would have been too much. I would have lost myself, so a week after my surgery I was already eyeing dropping some pills out of my life. I was introduced to medical cannabis, and am now living opiate free.

Along this path though I realized the medical community is not very pro-marijuana. two incidents specifically stick out in my mind. The first was when my Dr., a nice young lady who I probably had a few years on, made me promise not to smoke and take THC pills for fear of an overdose.

It’s happened so many times over the years don’t you know.

Later an incident involving one of my nurses, she lost track of days and thought she had given me medication the day prior when it had actually been two days.

Mistakes happen not a big deal, but she refused for awhile to give me the THC pills while I was in pain. Eventually she acquiesced, but not before offering me a Hydromorphone. Which is an extremely powerful opiate. One which I wasn’t even prescribed anymore.

I’m not suggesting there is some big conspiracy between pharmaceutical companies and doctors, but we should probably have some information sessions.

I have seen first-hand the destructive capabilities of someone with an opiate addiction. Not only to themselves, but the people who love them. As a lightning rod for madness I don’t need to add a steel skirt.

Currently the Veterans Affairs of the United States follows the federal stance on marijuana, which is that it is a schedule 1 narcotic. A drug for which there is no medical purpose. Which is ridiculous and hypocritical as it recognizes derivatives of the plant as having medical purpose.

Many soldiers are being given cocktails of pills to deal with wide ranging issues that could be helped by one plant. From the pain relief of CBD which I am now a firm believer in. To studies linking marijuana to helping support people dealing with mental illness such as depression and PTSD.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/talking-about-trauma/201712/medical-marijuana-ptsd

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4578915/

At this point there is certainly a need to remove marijuana’s status as a schedule 1 narcotic, and allow clinical trials to be conducted of the effectiveness in treating mental illness.

Part of me would like to try and spearhead this movement. The rest of me wants to close up shop and move into the vault. Only time will tell.