Life after door kicking.

Category: MH

  • Word of the day: Exulansis

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    My hands didn’t tremble at the time; I might’ve even cracked a joke. The wound got tucked away deep and immediately. I just remember him slipping off the shovel, the way he didn’t stay where he was meant to. It’s exulansis to explain — these are my lighter wounds, the ones I survived, while others…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • Life’s a garden gotta dig it, and weed it, and fertilize…

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    Life has a way of filling idle moments with noise—regrets, imagined slights, and endless loops of “what if.” I’ve learned that letting the mind wander unchecked is like leaving soil untended: weeds take over, choking the space meant for growth. Energy, if not directed, becomes mischief in the mind. That’s why I’ve chosen to put…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • It wasn’t bad enough so I let it get so much worse

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    This is the post I didn’t want to write.What makes it worse is that none of this is new to me.I wrote about this years ago. It was actually the first thing I ever wrote, even if it wasn’t the first thing I posted. I talked about the panic attacks, the hyper vigilance, the feeling…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • From Duty to Dad: Navigating Fatherhood After War

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    I never really knew my dad.If you added up all the time I spent with him, it wouldn’t make six months. The first time I saw him, I was around eight, and I don’t remember doing much with him. The next time was as a preteen, and that round didn’t do me any favors —…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • A Different Assignment – A Different Fate

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    Today marks a day I can never forget. Twenty three years ago, the squad I was in before we deployed, hit an AT mine. I was moved to weapons squad as soon as I got in country. I’ve carried the weight of that randomness, the loss of my team, and the disillusionment that followed. I…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • Weighted Sunrise

    Do you need a break? From what? I could use a break from pain that doesn’t risk addiction. It would be nice to wake up and not feel my back. Not feel my nerve-damaged leg. Not feel the grinding of joints that have run out of cartilage. Not feel the scrape of bone on bone.But…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • No, You Don’t Have to Force December

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    I get the desire for cheer in December. I really do. The winter solstice gives us the shortest day of the year. The world tilts and shrinks the light. Things go gray. Cold sets in. It’s only natural we’d want to fight that back—with lights, with laughter, with plans, with cheer.We’re not wrong to want…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • The Cost of Isolation: Six Lives That Prove We’re Meant to Be With People

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    And Why I Still Fight the Urge to Pull Away Isolation is tempting. Quiet. Predictable. Controlled. I battle with the urge to isolate. There are days when even stepping into a party, a store, or a casual conversation feels draining, like the world is tapping a vein and taking what I’ve got left. Sometimes it’s…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • Why I write

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    I was never the type who loved writing in school. Essays felt stiff. Book reports were a chore. But even back then, I was writing—just not the kind they asked for. I wrote lyrics. Rhymes scribbled in spiral notebooks, verses built in my head while walking alone, staring at ceilings, or laying in the dark.…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking

  • Fighting for Routine: Discipline in the Middle of Recovery

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    Recovery Doesn’t Come With a Roadmap Recovery doesn’t come with a roadmap—especially when the body you’re trying to reclaim doesn’t move the same way it used to. After my spinal fusion, I wanted nothing more than to get back to rolling, lifting, and running—back to what once made me feel strong. But I knew I…

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    lifeafterdoorkicking