Category: Random Musings
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Fighting for Routine: Discipline in the Middle of Recovery
Recovery Doesn’t Come With a Roadmap Recovery doesn’t come with a roadmap—especially when the body you’re trying to reclaim doesn’t move the same way it used to. After my spinal fusion, I wanted nothing more than to get back to rolling, lifting, and running—back to what once made me feel strong. But I knew I…
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The rebel, the pervert, the gentleman and the philosopher.
How would you describe yourself to someone? Well, I’ve got a shirt that does a pretty damn good job: Gentleman. Philosopher. Pervert. Rebel. I’m a gentleman thanks to my mom. She raised me solo in the ’90s, doing her best to keep me grounded while juggling everything life threw her way—some job changes, a few…
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Shatter assumptions
Throughout my life, people have made assumptions about me. Some were off-base, reflections of their own projections. Others? I can’t deny—I planted them myself, deliberately, with a kind of quiet calculation. There’s something undeniably powerful in shaping the narrative before others can write it for you. In this way, I’ve used misdirection not unlike a…
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Burned out not broken.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here.The truth is, I’ve been in the middle of rebuilding—not just my body, but my routines, my mindset, and my connection to the people who matter most to me. After my accident, recovery took priority. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. I had to figure…
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Poem in the am
If I died today who would mourn If I side hopped would it storm If my heart stopped peace be born Though at first it may look like pain After the worst you will see gain Know our course would see us change Loves a sport but we’re in flames When the resort is to…
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Illusions
We had the best of times I keep that in mind When I look for the signs A mirage I can find It never fails to shine Even in the deepest mine Or this prison of my mind Through this prism I’m blind Hard to go on without what I’m
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Everything is falling apart
The most solid thing I had in this world is gone. With it everything else is shaking beneath my feet as well. The thing I had turned all my focus on, that I had dedicated all my attention to is now crumbling before my eyes. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who…
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32 year old?
16 year old miscreant. 17 year old rifleman. 18 year old assistant gunner. 19 year old combat veteran. 20 year old sham artist. 21 year old combat leader. 22 year old lifer. 23 year old victim. 24 year old rehabilatator. 25 year old broke dick. 26 year old full time Dad. 27 year old expatriate.…
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Weening
I have what you could call an addictive personality. Whatever it is I can take it to excess. Gaming, gambling, smoking, drinking, sex; if it’s an indulgence I can over do it. Not sure if it’s a nature or nurture thing, but it’s my battle. Balancing indulgence without developing dependence. I have a beast that…
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Life after door kicking. 