Category: Random Musings
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Burned out not broken.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything here.The truth is, I’ve been in the middle of rebuilding—not just my body, but my routines, my mindset, and my connection to the people who matter most to me. After my accident, recovery took priority. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. I had to figure…
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Poem in the am
If I died today who would mourn If I side hopped would it storm If my heart stopped peace be born Though at first it may look like pain After the worst you will see gain Know our course would see us change Loves a sport but we’re in flames When the resort is to…
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Illusions
We had the best of times I keep that in mind When I look for the signs A mirage I can find It never fails to shine Even in the deepest mine Or this prison of my mind Through this prism I’m blind Hard to go on without what I’m
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Everything is falling apart
The most solid thing I had in this world is gone. With it everything else is shaking beneath my feet as well. The thing I had turned all my focus on, that I had dedicated all my attention to is now crumbling before my eyes. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know who…
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32 year old?
16 year old miscreant. 17 year old rifleman. 18 year old assistant gunner. 19 year old combat veteran. 20 year old sham artist. 21 year old combat leader. 22 year old lifer. 23 year old victim. 24 year old rehabilatator. 25 year old broke dick. 26 year old full time Dad. 27 year old expatriate.…
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Weening
I have what you could call an addictive personality. Whatever it is I can take it to excess. Gaming, gambling, smoking, drinking, sex; if it’s an indulgence I can over do it. Not sure if it’s a nature or nurture thing, but it’s my battle. Balancing indulgence without developing dependence. I have a beast that…
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This Echo Chamber
It’s coming up on a year since my accident. A few years now that I have been having issues with driving. So basically I spend a lot more time at home and alone than I used to. Part of the way I pass time is YouTube. It’s been quite a few years since I stopped…
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Tips On How To Smile.
“Dad doesnt ever smile laugh or play with me.” “My oldest son around 7 years old” “Living with someone with PTSD you never see them smile.” “My wife” I’ve felt like this so long, I can’t really remember feeling any other way. A huge portion of my life I’m on autopilot. Maybe it’s the training.…
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Now what?
Since I got out the army my family has noticed I’m fairly good at maintaining my situational awareness. When I go places I pay attention for exits, I evaluate the threat capacity of all my fellow patrons, and I sit with my back to the wall so I have best field of vision. Doing so…
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Life after door kicking. 